Someone Might Need The Boot

So I have absolutely nothing to write about tonight.  I just told this to Hubs, and he looked at me and said, “That’s never stopped you any of the other nights.”

No.  No, it hasn’t.

And then I told Hubs, “Why don’t you do a guest post?  You could write something up tonight on helpful hints from the IT guy, and I wouldn’t have to write anything.”

Hubs looked at me like I had sprouted horns, which he does once in a while.

Like when he tells me, “This pair of boxers I have on this morning?  Yeah.  I was saving them for the Apocalypse, but I don’t have any other clean ones.”  Which is Hubs’ way of saying, “I would treasure anyone who did the laundry today, forever and ever, amen.”

Except Hubs doesn’t use words like treasure, because treasure is rather poetic, and Hubs wouldn’t know a poem if it stood up in front of him and threw water balloons.  What Hubs knows is words like Fill the chamber with aerosol hairspray and deploy the barbecue ignition switch and Once you’ve threaded eighteen Mentos candies onto the needle and thread, drop the entire candy garland into the bottle of Diet Coke.

Anyway, Hubs told me that this is exactly what he would say, if he wrote a guest post tonight on Helpful Hints From Your Friendly Computer Technician.

Dear World,

We are not really friendly technicians, because we get tired of all the stupid questions we get.  (There really ARE such things as stupid questions.  Most of the time, they come from my wife, and are phrased this way:  “Could you get the pictures off of my memory card, because I forgot how to do that again.”)  If you need us, try rebooting your system before you call us, because that is THE FIRST THING we will ask you:  Did you try rebooting?  (My wife NEVER tries rebooting before she calls me.)  If you reboot, and things still didn’t work, then look at your savings account and see if you have enough money for a new computer.  (No, honey, you do not have enough money for a new Apple.  Try rebooting.)



For some reason, I don’t think that Hubs’ self-help book on getting to know your computer better is going to sell many copies.

Oh!  But wait!  I guess that I DO have something to write about on the blog tonight, because the boy won first place in his microbiology entry in the regional science fair this afternoon!  He won first place last week at the district competition, and then he finished with another first place medal AND a twenty-dollar bill this afternoon.  Ultimately, this means that he gets to take his three-sided board to the state competition.  And also?  We’ve been advised to wear a tie to the state competition next month.  Last night, I asked the boy, “Do you need to dress up for this competition?”  And he said, “Yes.  I need a collared shirt.”  And I said, “Do you need a tie?”  And he said, “No.  Just a collared shirt.  Good grief, Mom!  That’s plenty dressed up!”

I don’t know where I went wrong, but that boy only wants to wear T-shirts and windpants these days.

And sure enough.  Every other boy at the science fair today was sporting a tie, while the boy was wearing an Under Armour golf shirt… with a collar… and a pair of jeans that didn’t have a hole in the knee.

So, yes.  The boy is a budding scientist, and he’s sweet enough that he usually helps me unload photos from my camera’s memory card without asking me if I have rebooted.

I’m so glad to have this kid around.  I love him huge.

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