I don’t mean to brag…
… (except I probably do)…
… but I am totally on Christmas Vacation. It makes me want to break out in song:
“It’s that time, Christmas time is here,
Everybody knows there’s not a better time of year…
Hear that sleigh? Santa’s on his way!
Hip, hip, hooray for Christmas Vacation!”
It’s a perk of only teaching two days a week. I finished up PE today by just telling my kiddos, “Listen. Let’s get the scooters out, and y’all can zing back and forth in the gym on those like hyper lunatics. You can scream in merriment and roll around on the floor like puppies, just so long as you don’t piddle, and WHO WANTS A CHRISTMAS SHOT OF MOUNTAIN DEW? Line up on the bleachers for those, because I’m done with y’all ’til January! Mountain Dews with fancy umbrellas on candy canes for everyone!”
And then I gave all of those little tykes back to their classroom teachers, and I waved good-bye. A couple of teachers even commented that HECK, YES! They were all about stealing my two-days-a-week job away from me for next year, because they’re stuck with all the kids who are jacked up on Christmas-highs until Friday afternoon.
And that’s really about the extent of what I have for y’all here at Jedi Mama, Inc. tonight.
Except I’ll tell you that my kitchen is not as clean as it was yesterday morning, when I took those pictures of my Pinterest accomplishment. Little elves broke in and left crumbs the size of cereal boxes on the counters, and they dirtied up some dishes. I suspect that it’s the work of a gang of Elves on the Shelves, who wear bandanas, and say things like, “Yo! Mama! We gonna trash yo’ crib!” The sad thing is that we don’t even have our own Elf, so I know that this is a renegade group that hates me because I vetoed the six-foot-tall, fully-decorated Christmas tree this year in favor of SANITY.
Maybe you want to know that I made Hamburger Helper for dinner, because nothing screams out TRUE LOVE to your family like a plate of sodium and fake cheeseburger flavoring. It also yells out WINNER, WINNER, CHICKEN DINNER, because my boys will ALL eat a plate of HH, and then sit back and watch their fingers swell up like fat little sausages.
And then there was THIS today:
… (except OH, YES! I DO!)…
… but those are the two VERY CUTEST boys of ever. If you have little boys of your own and you want to PRETEND that they’re as cute as mine are, that’s fine. I’ll never tell anyone that you’re pretending. But those two boys right here are God’s finest work.
And that’s it for tonight, people. If I keep typing, I’ll just be rambling, and we all know that my time this evening could be better spent recruiting the boy’s help with setting elf traps around our house.
There’s no place in the Christmas season for rotten little elves who make you need a vacuum cleaner and a sassy holiday maid. Ain’t nobody got time for that, when she’s on CHRISTMAS VACATION!