Thing 2 climbs tall structures better than Spider-Man does. He jumps off of tall structures, without even caring if there is an adult on the premises to oversee his landing. He thinks stitches are just cosmetic and totally unnecessary, and that chicks actually dig scabs on a boy’s knees. That toddler of ours kicks soccer balls hard… he rams Tonka trucks into our walls and chips the Sheetrock… he chips our Sheetrock by swinging golf clubs inside the house… he jumps in irrigation ditches without checking to see how deep they are first… He eats glass marbles as snacks and poops them out a couple of days later… He sprints like Flash Gordon, and he swings high enough to touch the stars with the toes of his Crocs.
Thing 2 can catch fish out of little fishbowls with his bare hand, too. Oh, he STARTS small, by using a plastic spoon to terrorize the goldfish… but then… eventually... when his mama turns sideways to say hello to someone… Thing 2 will just toss the spoon aside and engage in a little hillbilly handfishing… because why use the spoon, when you can just grab that fat-bellied goldfish with your bare hands?
But every now and then, even the tough guys enjoy a buddy’s birthday party so dadgum much, they just tell the Birthday Boy good-bye with an honorary hug.
I think the hug may be Thing 2’s way of telling Andrew, “I’m sorry I stole your bouquet of helium balloons off your special Birthday Chair tonight… I’m sorry I coveted your cake and premeditated some plans to grab a handful of it before we even sang HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you… I’m sorry my mom ran interference and kept me from getting into your cake… I’m sorry I let one of the balloons loose off of your fishing boat by the front door… I’m sorry I pulled the fish net off the table and dumped my mom’s dinner plate on your mom’s carpet… I’m sorry I caught one of your beloved goldfish with my bare hands after I horrified him with the spoon… But I enjoyed your party thoroughly, Andrew. Thank you for having me.”
I’m kind of certain that Thing 2 and Andrew will roll their eyes in shock and disgust when their mamas show this snapshot at their high school graduation parties, but it was THE CUTEST.. JUST THE CUTEST… JUST THE ABSOLUTE CUTEST thing ever! Thing 2 and Andrew just spontaneously wrapped their little, chubby arms around one another and hugged tight when it was time for us to go.
They’re sweet boys.
Except when one of them is chipping Sheetrock.
But even then, his mama loves him.
(And PS. Two of these snapshots were taken by my friend, Amy, and the third one was snapped by our friend, Sam, because I can’t juggle a camera at a birthday party when I’m trying to save fish in fishbowls from the clutches of Thing 2. The good news, though, is that even though our toddler actually caught himself a goldfish, the fish survived. He’ll be telling that SHOCK AND AWE story to his great-grand-goldfish for years to come. We’re just happy that we left the party without being called FISH KILLERS, because ain’t nobody got time to be like Darla from Finding Nemo. And we’re thankful that when Mama is busy rescuing fish, someone like Amy or Sam has the camera aimed and ready. Thanks, guys, for the snapshots from last night’s party.)