Today can be summed up in exactly these words:
Except… I DID take Thing 2 to the local rec center’s indoor playland with Sister and Cousin H bright and early this morning. Sister used her toddler’s jacket, which she was carrying, to totally sneak a Starbucks cup full of caffeine and LIQUID ALERTNESS past the desk attendant, so she could sip it in the playland, even though the rules forbid anything except water back there.
It never occurred to me to cheat and lie and steal to get a coffee into the tunnels and tubes and slides and the utter chaos, but I’m officially IN THE KNOW about things like that now, especially since I had been awake since 4 AM.
4 AM. And it wasn’t even Thing 2’s fault, because our own toddler slept like a well-mannered baby until 6:00 this morning, and there I was, lying in my bed for two solid hours, mentally calculating how much sleep I could still manage to get, if I I fell asleep RIGHT THIS SECOND.
My story problem went something like this: “If it’s 4:09 right now, and Thing 2 sleeps until 5:45, and I fall asleep in the next thirty seconds, and the Burlington Northern train leaves the station at 4:12 and travels at a speed of 83 miles an hour to the East, and Batman drives the Batmobile at a speed of lightning striking to the West, how many pancakes will the boy want for breakfast?”
I know. Math has always been my best subject.
The answer turned out to be, “Just get your phone out and play some Words With Friends, because you’re awake, and leave it to your luck to have the baby sleep in today.”
I don’t even know where this post is going. I’m rambling, and Thing 2 is hollering that it’s his bedtime in the background, and Hubs is engaged in watching Frozen on TV with him, even though he would much rather be watching the Avalanche play hockey than Elsa declare that she’s in no mood WHATSOEVER to build a snowman, and the boy is READING, because his horrible parents have fired him from ALL THINGS FUN IN LIFE until he finishes a book for his English class that’s due soon.
Oh. I guess we went to the boy’s parent-teacher conferences this evening, too. Hubs and I learned the usual things about the boy: He talks a lot to people sitting next to him in his classes, and he got seven-out-of-seven A’s.
He’s a keeper… unless he doesn’t finish reading this book in time to take the test.
(Seriously?! HOW did I get this kid who despises all the reading, when my life goals are to take naps and read as many books as I can?!)
I need to just sign off. My brain has the consistency of sticky oatmeal right now, which means no good is going to come out of it.
I blame the fact that I wasn’t smart enough to find a way to get a VENTI chai latte through the check-in desk at the rec center, which means my caffeine consumption was late in happening this morning, on a day when I needed it the most, and things just sort of went downhill from there.
(See the part about NOPE. NOT EVEN DINNER.)
(My opinion is… THIS IS WHY GOD GAVE US JIMMY JOHN’S.)
Why are any of you still reading this?
Y’all have a merry weekend and behave yourselves. I’m going to go take a nine-hour nap in my bed.