Apparently SOMEONE has been on a blogging vacation. I am finding, though, that when you’re the CEO of a corporation, you can disappear for extended lunch hours without having to tell your secretary anything, because BOSS!
Of course, that’s assuming that your corporation actually makes enough money to pay a secretary’s salary, which doesn’t happen here on the blog. I’m my own secretary.
I’m also my own laundress, which is a job I’m failing rather miserably at. This morning, Hubs said, “Yeah… I’m gonna need you to go ahead and do some laundry. I feel like I need to wear a location transmitter around my neck whenever I go into the closet, in case there’s an avalanche of dirty clothes.” I could go all women’s lib on Hubs and tell him that the washing machine is downstairs, but Hubs ruins laundry.
Which I sort of suspect he did on purpose a couple of times right after we were married, so that he would be forever banned from the job, but I can’t prove anything. The early years of our marriage were days before nanny cams, when wives could just see if husbands were deliberately putting red shirts in with the whites any time they wanted to.
All I really have to say is SUMMER VACATION!
And also WE ARE ON IT.
The boy graduated from junior high on Friday morning, and listen: He got a major award for kindness in his school, as well as an award for having straight As all year. Of course I’m proud of that certificate announcing to the world that he had stellar grades, but the kindness award? Which was given because the boy was nominated by his teachers for it, since he treats every student with respect and honor and, well, kindness? THAT made my heart nearly burst with pride. Because isn’t that what we all really hope our children will grow up to be? Kindhearted people who live above the drama of categorizing people into social classes they can’t talk to or treat with respect?
That boy is one outstanding kid, and I couldn’t be happier to call him ours.
After his graduation program (and OF COURSE I took pictures, but they’re on my camera’s memory card, which is in the other room, and I’m feeling a titch on the lazy side right now, because SUMMER VACATION, so the photos will have to wait), Hubs and I and Thing 2 left Small Town, USA for the quickest trip to a major, thriving metropolis that has ever been recorded.
Basically, we drove and drove, and sat and sat, and then drove and drove some more, and boom! We had been in two states in two days and had cramps in our shoulders from sitting in a car too long.
Also? Well, you can find Sonics in major, thriving metropolises, and Sonic has THE! BEST! ICE! in their drinks of ever. Hands down. We had to order ice waters to go, and I simply shouted, “EXTRA ICE!” I can’t say that I’m crazy about Sonic’s food, but their ice? It brings me to a happy place that’s almost like the beach.
Meanwhile, the boy stayed behind, because he was too smart to want to spend his first weekend of summer break sitting in a car. He went to a huge SCHOOL’S OUT party that one of his friends threw, and he stayed with his grandparents, where he was spoiled rotten.
But he didn’t have the joy of a large cup filled to the brim with Sonic ice.
And now? Well, we’re all back at home again, and the boy is sleeping late in the mornings and playing golf in the afternoons, and Thing 2 is protesting the fact that he can’t golf nine holes, and we’re thinking about potty training.
And by thinking about it, I mean that I’ve already thought it out and think it’s a good idea, but Thing 2 simply tells me over and over that pooping in the toilet is too scary, and NO, THANK YOU.
I think it’s time to look online for potty training summer camps, where I pack the toddler a bag of size 4T clothes and send him off with a kiss and a wave and a box of fruit chewy snacks and then pick him up, FULLY POTTY TRAINED AND SUNBURNED AND SPORTING A NEW BEADED NECKLACE FROM HIS CRAFT CLASS, at the end of the summer.
And now, because it’s 9:30 in the morning (I never have time to write blog posts in the mornings!), I really need to scootch, because LAUNDRY. And also something needs to be done about our house, because it looks like the Seven Dwarfs live here…
… before Snow White came into their lives.
Which is exactly how my Suburban looked at the end of last week. I’ve seen people who have lived in their cars, and they had less stuff in them than what I was hauling around in my Suburban. I could have fed a third world country with the amount of Goldfish Crackers that were beneath the seats. Thankfully, we went to the car wash and the free vacuum cleaners, where we stayed for approximately thirty hours, until things were under control.
I think there’ll be more time to blog now, for the two of you who pop in here on a regular basis.
Happy Tuesday morning.