Well, we have rung in the new year.
And by rung it in, what I really mean is that Thing 2 spent the night at Mam and Pa’s house on New Year’s Eve, in a much-anticipated sleep over, while Hubs and I stayed home to grill steaks for dinner, as the boy celebrated the end of the year with friends, as teenagers tend to do. We had discussed dressing up and making reservations at a restaurant with real linen napkins, but then we remembered that there really isn’t a restaurant in town that can create the culinary delight of Hubs’ steaks, so we hit the grocery store for ribeyes and fillets. It was our best decision of the holiday season. Nothing says, “Bring in this new year,” like one of Hubs’ fillets and a baked potato, while everyone is wearing sweats. We then went on to make poor choices in TV shows, that caused us both to raise our eyebrows and ask, “Why did we waste our time watching something so utterly ridiculous?” Poor acting, poor plot, poor everything.
It was an hour of our lives we can never get back.
And then, while Hubs went on to read the news on his iPad, as all old men do, I fell asleep before 10 PM. I feel like it’s exactly how Prince William and Princess Kate probably did things. I mean, seriously. I’m sure Kate said, “Wills, I know Charlotte and George are at your grandmother’s palace for the night, making homemade Play Doh with the queen, so go ahead and catch up on FOX News, to see what’s going on around us. I’m going to go on upstairs, wash my face, use my $4 tub of facial cream from Target, put on my pajama bottoms with the cows all over them, and go to sleep.”
It was everything Prince intended, when he encouraged us to party like it was 1999.
I woke up at midnight to the horrific noise of fireworks being set off in our cul de sac. Apparently, our neighbors live life more adventurously than we do. I smiled at their enthusiasm and dedication to the midnight hour, fell back asleep fourteen seconds later, and woke up at the unholy, very sinful hour of 8 AM on New Year’s Day.
I felt like it was exactly how 2017 should’ve been ushered in.
Of course, we were SUPPOSED TO travel hither and yon, to see the Broncos play up close and personal, sitting in the stadium at 2:30 on New Year’s Day afternoon, with some good friends of ours. The weatherman and his doomsday reports, though, kept us from going, as we kept hearing terms like ACCUMULATING SNOW, BLACK ICE, WIND ADVISORIES, BLOWING AND DRIFTING, and CONDITIONS OF LOW VISIBILITY.
This isn’t our first rodeo. We have driven in more snowstorms and white-out conditions than most people, because… well… it’s SMALL TOWN, USA. The weather here often sneaks up on you in unpredictable ways, leaving you on the interstate, with your passenger’s head hanging out the window, looking for the next reflector post to determine whether you’re actually still on the road or driving straight for a pasture of cows and death.
At the eleventh hour, we backed out of our trip, leaving our friends to go it alone. Our tickets were put on a website and listed FOR SALE, and we stayed home…
… where it didn’t snow.
In other words, listening to a computer engineer predict the weather and tell us, “We will be FINE! PLEASE! Go with us to see the Broncos get pummeled by the Raiders,” is more reliable than listening to the weatherman, with the meteorology degree.
And the Broncos defied all the odds and crushed the Oakland Raiders, in their season finale, seeing as how NO PLAYOFFS FOR THE WORST TEAM IN THE LEAGUE. We spent New Year’s Day watching them win from the comfort of Grammy and Papa’s leather sofas, with grilled bratwursts and home-cooked onion rings, while Thing 2 discovered the joys of Aunt Pink’s stapler.
She will now be flying back home at the end of this week, with no staples to her name.
Today we have enjoyed the thrill of a new year and its offerings of optimism and hope, by doing laundry, getting groceries, and wiping all the size 4 clothing out of Thing 2’s closet, so that we could bring in the size 5 hand-me-downs. I know this is how Hollywood celebrities spent their STILL-A-GOVERNMENT-HOLIDAY-SINCE-NEW-YEAR’S-WAS-SUNDAY Monday.
I imagine the majority of celebrities also ate cold, leftover bratwursts that Grammy sent home with them for breakfast, along with their morning coffee today.
AND! Behold! I created a faux hawk on the top of Thing 2’s head this morning!
We may have said goodbye to the adorable curls, but we definitely said hello to being fashionable and oh-so-very trendy.